Bubba Ho-Tep

Sarah — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 00:41:59 +0000

Bubba Ho-Tep with Bruce Campbell

As a general rule, I tend to avoid all things geriatric. I wouldn’t go as far as to call myself old people-phobic, but something about old people boring the crap out of me might have something to do with it. I watched Cocoon. I’ve done my time.
If you’re like me, moderately young, but still in fear of the time when you won’t be able to chew your own food, you probably will not enjoy Bubba Ho-Tep. For a solid hour, you’ll be watching old people in an old people home, doing what old people do. Thieving like bandits, assuming the personalities of famous icons, and rambling on and on about mummies stealing souls from their asses. You would think this would be a recipe for success, and you would be wrong. I’m thinking the script pitch went a little something like this: “We have Bruce Campbell onboard, guys. That takes care of the fan-boys. And we got senile old folks. The script is writing itself. I’m off to play Halo.”
I’m not saying old people can’t be funny. I’m just saying they were not funny in this particular movie. I feel like I was expected to laugh every time a bedpan made an appearance.

Bruce Campbell plays Sebastian Haff, an elderly gentleman who claims to be the real Elvis. He makes a good case of it, insisting he had an impersonator take his place while he escaped the limelight to the comforts of trailer park living – to impersonate himself. He eventually breaks his hip, as old people are known to do, and ends up at Shady Rest Convalescent Home in Mud Creek, TX. Ossie Davis plays John F. Kennedy. His is a story that I don’t really think I am up for touching upon. Sebastian/Elvis spends a good majority of his time in bed in and out of slumber. When he’s awake, he’s complaining about some pus filled growth on his Action Jackson and talks about Pricilla (Presley) and daughter, Lisa Marie, which usually goes nowhere. A mummy shows up and starts stealing the souls of the residents.

JFK

The mummy has a story too, but I think it was abandoned mid-film. Eventually Elvis and JFK decide they have to save the old people, who all seem to be mere minutes from death anyways, and fight the mummy. The mummy who dresses as a cowboy.

In short, it’s like hanging out with your 108 year old, insane, great-great uncle. Same stories. Same amount of movement. Except you don’t get the reward of getting family members off your back for another year because you haven’t visited. IMDB reports that they had quite a lot of extras at the beginning of the film. When it came time to use them, most of them had grown bored with it and went home.

The budget for Bubba Ho-Tep is ridiculously apparent. They couldn’t afford the rights to use anything relating to Elvis for a movie, more or less, about Elvis.

Bubba Ho-Tep is in the comedy horror genre. I might place it more in the “talkie” realm, maybe something Woody Allen might have written. I missed the comedy, and it might have reached the horror point, if anything happened besides everyone just falling asleep all the time. Maybe it’s the categorization that I have the problem with. I had high hopes for this movie. I had the pleasure of meeting Bruce Campbell for a brief instant at the San Diego Comic-Con a few years back. He called me “baby”, signed my “Army of Darkness” poster, and his people shuffled me along. After watching this movie, the memory is almost tarnished.

House of Suffering » Uncategorizable

Bubba Ho-Tep