All I really have to say about this movie is… “Uh”. Quite possibly the worst movie ever made, and I mean – worst! I’m talking, xXx, Slumber Party Massacre 2, Alexander and Gigli have nothing on this movie in terms of “the suck”. What’s that mean to you? You’ve gotta watch it. I mean, how could you go on living knowing that you have yet to see the worst movie of all time?

Perhaps I’m exaggerating, I’m sure that Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is a much worse film… so this is #2. Thus, if you’re a masochist, you gotta see it. If you’re a sadist, you gotta show it to your friends, family, or better – your loved ones.

The premise? I’ll keep it short, as the movie is only 55 minutes of excruciating torturous hell to watch. George Washington was a cannibal. The Washingtonians are part of a secret order that are in place to ensure no one finds out his evil dark taste for human flesh. The Washingtonians like to eat people too, and this movie may have had some saving grace if they were already dead while doing it. Nothing says “epic movie” like colonial period patriot zombies and their insatiable lust for the flesh of virgins…

I say, if you do watch this, be ready to take your “shit movie” scale notch about 10 clicks lower. In fact, after this? Movies like: Eragon, Dungeons and Dragons, and xXx State of the Union will be a breeze to sit though, no doubt.

Write a comment